


in every single one

by acheforhim



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Don't copy to another site, M/M, Poetry, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22962802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acheforhim/pseuds/acheforhim
Summary: Bucky can't sleep. Steve asks him what he's thinking about.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 14





	in every single one

**Author's Note:**

> alternative title: felt emo might delete later xx

When I was little and looked at the stars  
and dragged you along to learn all about them

When I’d find you again—with or without cause—  
angry, disheveled, your fists up, surrounded

When I went away—to get trained, to get shot at—and all I could think of  
were all of your bruises and how they would linger

I didn’t know  
I couldn’t know  
I wouldn’t want to know

that they would take the stardust that made up all of me  
and crush it into powder  
and pack it up in bullets  
put the gun in my hand and have me  
do things I’d thought I couldn’t

that they would make me forget what it was like  
to look up at the sky with no calculation  
to bind wounds rather than make them  
to be afraid for someone else  
for me  
to be  
to be  
to be

Most of it I got back.  
Some of it I didn’t.

And I am learning even more now—  
about us, about science, about earth—  
and I wish that I wasn’t  
because if different universes exist  
then there is  
one where I died right there in the snow  
one where I lived and they let me go  
one where they didn’t send me after you  
one where they did and I killed you  
one where they did and you killed me  
and saw my body  
and realized  
and you kept saying  
kept saying—

_Buck._

Yes.

Let me think of them and mourn them.  
I have you to hold me but they don’t—  
all those of me that didn’t remember,  
all those of you that didn’t know.

_I would always know.  
_ _In every universe, I’d know._

Even in the ones we didn’t meet?

_We meet every time. _

How do you know?

_I’m a stubborn bastard, Buck.  
_ _I'll find you. In every single one._

Can’t get rid of you.

_Not even if you tried._

And you know that I wouldn’t.

_Don’t know if you would. Just know that you shouldn’t._

That’s a little creepy, Steve.

_I’m a little creepy guy._

You’re neither of those things.

_That’s what I want you to believe._

That doesn’t even make sense.  
We should try to go to sleep.

_Are you feeling better?_

As well as I can feel.

_Buck—_

Just try and go to sleep.  
You asked about it  
and I answered.  
There’s nothing you can do.

_We can talk tomorrow if you want._

Yes. We have tomorrow.

_Yeah, Buck, we do. _  
_And you should probably know -_  
_we got the day after, too._

In every universe?

_In every single one _ _that has me and you._

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tweeter](https://twitter.com/mordrecl)


End file.
